June 2013: “Ladies & Gentlemen . . . “

Grace and Peace

. . .  that’s the way Paul began each of his letters . . . although it seems that when he wrote to his disciple Timothy, he added ‘mercy.’ I wonder why. So if you’re in need of mercy, receive that too!

Ever read The small Print on stuff that people send you? We have some of it, way down at the bottom of the page. You might be interested.

 “Ladies & Gentlemen . . .”

Last month we tackled men who don’t like women and are prejudiced toward them—and some of the reasons why that is. We had some responses (visit our new-look Boutique for a peek). How then, should men (and boys), behave toward the fairer sex in daily life?

The phrase, “Ladies & Gentlemen,” has all but lost its meaning today. You’ll hear it at public gatherings, but it’s become just a formality.

Ladies of course are still around, and I suppose there’s even a sprinkling of gentle men. But mostly, the concept of ‘ladies’ has morphed into ‘women,’ and the image that men tend to project is more macho than gentle.

Years ago, a woman with a most challenging background came as a student to a school we led. She truly wanted to serve God with her whole heart for the rest of her life, but staff and students soon learned that when the word ‘lady’ was used, in lecture or in private chat, it was like a red flag to a bull. It was almost like she wanted to be treated like a man.

God did a wonderful work in her, and Donna and I have kept in touch; she still loves and serves the Lord to this day. (Sometimes I wonder if she still bristles like a bull when she hears the word lady!)

There was a time when most men treated ladies (sorry, women) with utmost respect, as a matter of course. Sir Walter Raleigh, dashingly and dramatically illustrated this, when he supposedly threw his cloak on a puddle so that Queen Elizabeth the First wouldn’t get her shoes muddied. Extreme?

I was taught to always open doors for women and let them go through first; to walk closest to the traffic on the sidewalk (in Europe, the man walks on her left side); to open the car door; to always sign Donna’s name before mine on a letter or email (why? Because my brother told me to!); to pay for a meal in a restaurant . . . How does the modern woman feel about these things? Demeaned? Downgraded? Made to feel lesser?

If so, I must be very old-fashioned, because to me, these are some of the  signs of respecting, protecting and honoring.

It seems as though chivalry is nowadays considered ‘horse & buggy,’ and has become a misty memory; we have progressed, discovering ‘equality’ for women in almost all things. When I was courting Donna, I always opened and closed the car door for her, and she waited until I did—it was just understood to be good manners. (Confession: I don’t always do that for Donna anymore. Shame on me.)

There’s an old stereotype of women that they should be confined to being wives and mothers who nurture, who give birth and build nests; emotions and feelings are what makes them tick. Well, that’s sure been turned upside down!

Somehow, I suspect that in all this ‘remaking’ of women, something has been lost. Respect, from men, at the very least, if not self-respect. Women can seldom count on natural and normal courtesy and honor from men. And perhaps as a result, something sinister has been reaped by women: fear.

From personal experience I often see it in women’s and girl’s faces. I walk a lot, have for years, as did my Dad. Wherever I can, I get out my runners and go for it, in parks, on city streets, anywhere; when at home, I hoof it along a picturesque path beside a broad and beautiful river—frozen over in winter—alive with flitting and chittering birds along its banks in summer. But sometimes I feel obliged to stop suddenly and make a U-turn.


I move pretty fast and overtake most people. If I come up behind a woman or girl with no one else in sight, I automatically make a Uey. Years ago, I’d charge right past. Not today. As soon as my footsteps are heard, I see the fearful glances back at me, “a man is following me!” So I turn, and walk the other way. Where does that fear come from?

When I was young, there was a wholesome ‘mystery’ about the fairer sex. Generally speaking, that mystery has been ripped away, and for young people growing up today, there’s little or no mystique left. Romance has been mostly reduced to the sensual and the physical. Just watch TV.

A lot of good manners towards women may have been outward ‘show’ masquerading as chivalry, but to a large extent today, the ‘ladies first’ standard has gone the way of the steam locomotive. And with it, respect.

Men, maybe we can’t change society . . . but you can change your society—simply by honoring and respecting all of God’s daughters that you know.

What’s in a pen (or an email), is not necessarily what’s in someone’s heart. But when you put others first, and keep doing it, at some level in your heart and in your actions too, it becomes truth—and part of you.

Women will start to feel honored, respected and cherished when men honor, respect and cherish them. Pretty simple. Not Einsteinian.

The Apostle Peter, speaking to husbands (would it be stretching it to say that would include all men?) said,  . . . in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat (women) then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. (1Peter 3:7)

And we must treat them in . . .




Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. Rita Mae Brown
Law without liberty is slavery.
Liberty without law is anarchy.
Liberty with law is Christianity!
From Ben Gilmore
Success is not determined by how many people I can control, but how many people I’ve released into their destiny. John Dawson

Read your blog about women in combat and I agree. I am still too much a Southern Gentlemen (and there aren’t many of us left), not to object to it. But just from a practical standpoint, if I were a soldier in hand-to-hand combat, who would I rather have covering my six—a man or a woman, however athletic they both might be? Jimmy Owens
You are really tackling a big issue in your “Misogynistic Me?” article. Are you inviting trouble? Probably! But good for you for thinking through this; you have some good thoughts. I have two comments:
1. Some women do traffic other women and girls.
2. Paul wrote that there is no “male or female” in Christ. I believe the implications of this statement are huge and must be taken to their logical end, and it is our job as Christians today to carry through this thinking in our time. Thank you for your thought-provoking article. Ryan Davis
And this from from Major Janet Kemmerer, US Marine Corps, Retired:
After reading your May ‘Sheep2Sheep,’ I have concluded that you have resigned to wearing a flack jacket these days. . . The truth is, I do not believe women should be in combat either. When I entered the military, the motto was, “To Free a Man to Fight!” and we did. My female colleagues and I had no desire to go into combat. Others including myself have concluded that we probably would not enter the military today because of many of the rule changes that have taken place over the years. Continue to march, Peter. I will have your back. Jane
Thanks. I have to respectfully disagree with your position on ‘women being in combat.’ My first year at war was in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. My Chaplain Assistant was female and she did a fine job protecting me. Chaplains aren’t allowed to carry weapons, so she was my force protection, my driver, my administrative assistant, etc. My 2nd and 3rd deployments had women on them as well. My last battalion was commanded by a woman and she did amazing things. (But) sexual harassment is an issue we have to deal with currently. Major Steven Satterfield, US Marine Corps

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Donna’s Corner

Walking & Trusting

Dear Friend of God,

Last month I asked the question, do you want to walk with God or just be used by Him? Out of our walk with Him, we can be used by Him. The more time we spend with Him the more we reflect Him and His glory.

Some of the old hymns have such meaning. I wrote in the last etouch_logo_low_res.jpg about how if we carry our own burdens and don’t give them to Jesus, it can hinder us from close relationship with Him. Two favorite hymns of mine are:

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear . . . 

and from “In the Garden,”

He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own; and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. 

We’re all on a journey here on earth. After Jesus’ resurrection, the two men were walking to Emmaus, and Jesus came alongside and joined them, but they didn’t recognize who it was. They were having a lot of doubts because it looked like all their hopes had been destroyed. Read Luke 24, it is so amazing.

Jesus continues to walk alongside us, sending the Holy Spirit to live within us; so He’ll never leave us. Paul says, . . . keep in step with the Spirit. (Gal 5:25) It’s the Holy Spirit that opens our minds so we can understand scripture (Luke 24:45). He reveals the hidden things of God. Peter and John were unschooled ordinary men but people could see that they had been with Jesus. Can people see that we walk with Jesus and that He is our best friend?

There’s nothing new, just more revelation. The Holy Spirit is revealing more and more of what is on our Father’s heart. Jesus said, He (the Holy Spirit), will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to Me by taking from what is Mine and making it known to you. (John 16:12-15) It brings Him joy to give us more revelation, but breaks His heart when we take the glory.

Jesus said, As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you . . . If you obey My commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have obeyed My Father’s commands and remain in His love . . . You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants . . . instead, I have called you My friends. (Read John 15:9-17)

Are you known as a friend of God’s? Can He trust you? Can you trust Him? He knows your secrets, but do you share them with Him to get wisdom and understanding. Or if they are secret sins, do you  repent, and ask Him for help so you can overcome them. Nothing is hidden from God, and yet He still wants to be our friend. It’s absolutely amazing. Nothing is too difficult for Him, if we just include Him and don’t try to do everything in our own strength or understanding.

Live for eternity my friends, when you will see Jesus face to face. Life’s a journey, and every day counts as we walk with Him. Like Paul said, I’m not there yet, but moving forward, keeping my eyes on Him. (Read Phil 3:12-14)

Remember, our citizenship is in heaven.

Love and Blessings,

Renewal Camps & Gatherings  2013

Dean Sherman this summer in Europe!

June 30 – July 6: Restenäs, Sweden: Dean, again! click here

July 7 – 13: Sighisoara, Romania: Dean, Once more! Yes! click here

July 22 – 27: Skjærgårdsheimen, Norway: Edwin Fillies,   click here

August 4 – 10: YWAM Champagne Le Gault, France have a look here

For more information about the European Camps click here

November 6 – 10: Singapore: Dean Fujishima, Peter & Donna Jordan & Team                                                           click here to email for information

And Finally . . . C S Lewis said,

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself . . . less.

Till next time,

The Small Print

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